I hate it

I hate it,

I hate everything. 

I hate how I don’t mess around like everyone else and have fun.

I hate that people don’t know what I want. I hate how I have to say it.

I hate how I have to be mature thinking about both sides and never getting into a fight. 

I hate that I’m sad cause I feel I don’t deserve it. 

I hate when I’m lonely because my arms are ice cold around me compared to yours. 

I hate that I don’t have therapy and that my dad denied me it. 

I hate that I can’t wear what I want or else I’m a disappointment. 

I hate I suck at everything even if that’s not true. 

I hate I always fail

I hate that it’s never enough,

I hate that my moms gone and  I can’t talk about it without people feeling awkward, 

I hate that I struggle with my emotions not knowing how to express myself or even what I’m feeling. 

I hate that I’m always overthinking. 

I hate that I procrastinate but don’t know how to stop. 

I hate that I don’t work hard enough,

I hate that I’m never satisfied no matter how hard I try. My tears go unnoticed and feel worthless like they don’t matter at all. 

I hate that I love my parents because everyone else does not and saying that mine are great feels like I’m showing off. 

I hate school and how hard I try to be good at it yet always ignoring it. 

I hate that no one listens, I hate that no one cares

I hate I can’t say anything, 

I hate that I cry silently, 

I hate I’m always confused

I hate I’m always stressed, 

I hate I’m insecure, 

I hate myself and I hate that I do.

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Published by Jessie

7 Comments

  1. Arabella Blue's avatar Arabella Blue says:
    May 12, 2022 at 2:22 am

    Hey, do you need someone to talk to? I don’t know your exact situation but I’ve also lost a parent, it really is awful when you feel you have no one to relate to

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Jessie's avatar Jessie says:
      May 13, 2022 at 5:09 am

      I’m alright, this is honestly an older writing of mine but thank you so much for offering it’s really nice of you. I’m doing a lot better these days about it. Still not great but I don’t feel as depressed. I’m sorry to hear you’ve had the same thing happen.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. Arabella Blue's avatar Arabella Blue says:
        May 17, 2022 at 3:33 am

        That’s good to hear, I’m glad you’re doing better

        Like

  2. Arabella Blue's avatar Arabella Blue says:
    May 12, 2022 at 2:26 am

    I’m so sorry, I can relate to what you’re feeling and it really sucks

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  3. Mirach's avatar Mirach says:
    May 13, 2022 at 4:14 am

    “I hate that I’m sad cause I feel I don’t deserve it.” oof fr
    “I hate that I struggle with my emotions not knowing how to express myself or even what I’m feeling.”
    “I hate that I’m always overthinking.” ME TOO
    “I hate that I procrastinate but don’t know how to stop.

    I hate that I don’t work hard enough,” feel this immensely

    aaaahhhh babe😭 these feelings suckkkkkk ass. You’ve probably been told this so many times, but I understand and am always here if you need someone to talk to or just vent.
    and dude no joke it makes me so happy whenever I see you and talk to you, I love it

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Jessie's avatar Jessie says:
      May 13, 2022 at 5:11 am

      Aw girl thank you. It means a lot. I’m doing better, some things are always gonna be sour but luckily I’m in a better mental space now.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. Mirach's avatar Mirach says:
        May 13, 2022 at 1:18 pm

        I’m so happy to hear that💕

        Like

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